16th March 2011 will hopefully prove to be the day that I moved from procrastination into prolonged and continuous endeavour of lasting substance. Yesterday I worked hard despite increasing tiredness as the day progressed o bring myself up todate, have used the greater part of alertness time morning to provisionally make my application for the 2012 Olympics. I found the London 2012 volume which had been commenced on the day on which responsibility for the games was transferred in Beijing and added the latest material some six sets.
I then worked hard to complete the other set work which brought up to target for the month but at only 3 sets a day when it should be 6 if I was to have reached my original target for project completion. One reason for not doing this has been the writing for immediate publication of some 2040 pieces since commencing 30th May 2006 with AOL and then moving to MySpace in 2007 when the AOL was system deleted including some 40000 photographs, and on to Blogger as a back up but then main vehicle.
Another major reason for project completion delays has been the decision to undertake single component works: celebrating the ancestral history and then the life of my mother: pursing with the health and local authority complaint systems the negligent and untimely death of my care mother through a combination individual failures and system inadequacies: the completion of a 400 page volume with 101 documents chartering the artistic and spiritual journey over the first 65 years and having printed 101 copies to be displayed in black and white boxes in groups of three 9.3.39 twenty four in total accompanied by 101 framed photos of the documentation included. And then there have been the confidential projects one which last a couple of months and the other six.
Over the past months of Winter I have wrestled between continuation of the work programme as it has developed but which has not resulted in tackling the boxes of papers of previous experience, particularly work experiences during my life, as well as projects such as travel and holidays. I have not viewed the video or listened to the audio tapes and gramophone long play and extended records and transferred the content to CD’s and DVD’s, nor have I commenced to systematically re real by library of books, pamphlets, Maps and other documents.
Perhaps the most significant I have not engaged again in trying to write the play which the readers at the Royal Court Theatre found interesting and wanted to see what more I had completed when I had not and the play was given to someone to read who did not return and with whom I lost contact and only remember her name, Anne Anna- Liza Gotesche or such like, hopefully I have it written down accurately somewhere, Nor have re written the novel has planned of that completed in 1993 and where one publisher said it was not for them but hoped it would be published, and then there is an autobiographical work designed to make money to ensure the artwork project is not just junked upon my death.
The consequence of knowing the work involved and the prospect of failure is that I retreat into the emotions and realities of contemporary experience, pleasurable and horrific. I must also tackle the weight in an effort to prolong my self aware experience and continued working. I have decided what to do next, but before making the commitment I will go an swim my 750 metres adding to the 100000 already competed on the over 125 visits since rejoining the leisure last summer.
It was a misty murky dispiriting drive for the swim and once inside the cold air and comparatively cold water further dissipated resolve and certainty. In part because of unexpected new arrival and more because the inclinational not there I swam only thirty lengths and then two spells interspersed by a moderate length sauna and quick reads of the Time and Telegraph. On the return I fritted time on game play and checking emails, needing a bacon roll and cereal to aid recovery. The news is much depressing.
Saudi Arabia has sent 500 heavy armoured troops along with others from United Arab Emirates to help quell the street protests in Bahrain including clearing the encamp in the area just outside the central city. Today Thursday 17th the UK government has advised its citizens to leave Bahrain because of the deteriorating situation. Hilary Clinton has condemned the use of violence by both sides.
In Libya despite creation of a No Fly Zone resolution drafted by the UK and France and then moved by the Arab League, confusion reigns over what it will mean in practice and if it has any prospect fo stop the crushing of the rebellion by Gaddafi forced. Late in the day in very sense the US Ambassador to the UN stated her government would support the no fly resolution but also felt that strong action was required if the deterioration in the position of the rebels was to be halted. This could mean initiating air attacks and naval bombardment with the risk of civilian casualties. Apparently a number of Arab leagues states, as yet unnamed are prepared to take responsibility for managing the a non fly resolution. I wonder if a deal has been struck to end the Gaddafi regime but accept the continuation of the regimes in countries such as Saudi Arabia and even Bahrain!
Meanwhile in Japan there is mounting confusion and information. The official number of dead, admitted the confirm dead is only in the couple of thousands maybe three, yet several coastal communities are each reporting thousands of missing believed dead, and thousands of bodies are being washed back to shore. There are isolated rescues but the total of displaced people, cold frightened, having lost everything or required to move from the threat of lethal radio activity is in the mullions. France has called for all its citizens to leave or move to the southern part of Japan and no doubt other nations will follow and the official at the nuclear plants say one things while other say differently. The number of after shocks continue and the threat of another Tsunami continues to be there.
I enjoyed a salad lunch, watched the Antiques challenge of the day and hen went back to bed and sleep for a couple of hours. After which I got to writing Howl 2011, a kind of prologue to what I hope will prove my work of substance. I will write more if an when I am satisfied with a completed prologue. I was able to write for about five hours yesterday after locating required information and then after sleeping well until around 2 am, albeit with getting’s ups, I wrote again for three hours, pleased with what is taking shape and my appropriate and state of mind. I feel it is right and not just a one off experience and that I can sustain effort altering everything else.
I enjoyed the latest episode of the Sopranos, Pax Soprana in which Tony’s obsession with his therapist takes off and in addition to having her followed he arranged for a new starter motor to be fitted to her car during the night after he overhears a telephone call about the matter in her office. He is experiencing impotency in relation to his wife and mistress and begins to have erotic dreams about the therapist, He then declares his love for her and obsession. She explains that this is normal and shows that the sessions are making progress as he begins to understand relationships with his mother, his wife and mistress. At one point he challenges the therapist back as to why she has taken him on and able to look him in the eye, something which those outside the “family” are unable to do. There is counter transference.
I then worked hard to complete the other set work which brought up to target for the month but at only 3 sets a day when it should be 6 if I was to have reached my original target for project completion. One reason for not doing this has been the writing for immediate publication of some 2040 pieces since commencing 30th May 2006 with AOL and then moving to MySpace in 2007 when the AOL was system deleted including some 40000 photographs, and on to Blogger as a back up but then main vehicle.
Another major reason for project completion delays has been the decision to undertake single component works: celebrating the ancestral history and then the life of my mother: pursing with the health and local authority complaint systems the negligent and untimely death of my care mother through a combination individual failures and system inadequacies: the completion of a 400 page volume with 101 documents chartering the artistic and spiritual journey over the first 65 years and having printed 101 copies to be displayed in black and white boxes in groups of three 9.3.39 twenty four in total accompanied by 101 framed photos of the documentation included. And then there have been the confidential projects one which last a couple of months and the other six.
Over the past months of Winter I have wrestled between continuation of the work programme as it has developed but which has not resulted in tackling the boxes of papers of previous experience, particularly work experiences during my life, as well as projects such as travel and holidays. I have not viewed the video or listened to the audio tapes and gramophone long play and extended records and transferred the content to CD’s and DVD’s, nor have I commenced to systematically re real by library of books, pamphlets, Maps and other documents.
Perhaps the most significant I have not engaged again in trying to write the play which the readers at the Royal Court Theatre found interesting and wanted to see what more I had completed when I had not and the play was given to someone to read who did not return and with whom I lost contact and only remember her name, Anne Anna- Liza Gotesche or such like, hopefully I have it written down accurately somewhere, Nor have re written the novel has planned of that completed in 1993 and where one publisher said it was not for them but hoped it would be published, and then there is an autobiographical work designed to make money to ensure the artwork project is not just junked upon my death.
The consequence of knowing the work involved and the prospect of failure is that I retreat into the emotions and realities of contemporary experience, pleasurable and horrific. I must also tackle the weight in an effort to prolong my self aware experience and continued working. I have decided what to do next, but before making the commitment I will go an swim my 750 metres adding to the 100000 already competed on the over 125 visits since rejoining the leisure last summer.
It was a misty murky dispiriting drive for the swim and once inside the cold air and comparatively cold water further dissipated resolve and certainty. In part because of unexpected new arrival and more because the inclinational not there I swam only thirty lengths and then two spells interspersed by a moderate length sauna and quick reads of the Time and Telegraph. On the return I fritted time on game play and checking emails, needing a bacon roll and cereal to aid recovery. The news is much depressing.
Saudi Arabia has sent 500 heavy armoured troops along with others from United Arab Emirates to help quell the street protests in Bahrain including clearing the encamp in the area just outside the central city. Today Thursday 17th the UK government has advised its citizens to leave Bahrain because of the deteriorating situation. Hilary Clinton has condemned the use of violence by both sides.
In Libya despite creation of a No Fly Zone resolution drafted by the UK and France and then moved by the Arab League, confusion reigns over what it will mean in practice and if it has any prospect fo stop the crushing of the rebellion by Gaddafi forced. Late in the day in very sense the US Ambassador to the UN stated her government would support the no fly resolution but also felt that strong action was required if the deterioration in the position of the rebels was to be halted. This could mean initiating air attacks and naval bombardment with the risk of civilian casualties. Apparently a number of Arab leagues states, as yet unnamed are prepared to take responsibility for managing the a non fly resolution. I wonder if a deal has been struck to end the Gaddafi regime but accept the continuation of the regimes in countries such as Saudi Arabia and even Bahrain!
Meanwhile in Japan there is mounting confusion and information. The official number of dead, admitted the confirm dead is only in the couple of thousands maybe three, yet several coastal communities are each reporting thousands of missing believed dead, and thousands of bodies are being washed back to shore. There are isolated rescues but the total of displaced people, cold frightened, having lost everything or required to move from the threat of lethal radio activity is in the mullions. France has called for all its citizens to leave or move to the southern part of Japan and no doubt other nations will follow and the official at the nuclear plants say one things while other say differently. The number of after shocks continue and the threat of another Tsunami continues to be there.
I enjoyed a salad lunch, watched the Antiques challenge of the day and hen went back to bed and sleep for a couple of hours. After which I got to writing Howl 2011, a kind of prologue to what I hope will prove my work of substance. I will write more if an when I am satisfied with a completed prologue. I was able to write for about five hours yesterday after locating required information and then after sleeping well until around 2 am, albeit with getting’s ups, I wrote again for three hours, pleased with what is taking shape and my appropriate and state of mind. I feel it is right and not just a one off experience and that I can sustain effort altering everything else.
I enjoyed the latest episode of the Sopranos, Pax Soprana in which Tony’s obsession with his therapist takes off and in addition to having her followed he arranged for a new starter motor to be fitted to her car during the night after he overhears a telephone call about the matter in her office. He is experiencing impotency in relation to his wife and mistress and begins to have erotic dreams about the therapist, He then declares his love for her and obsession. She explains that this is normal and shows that the sessions are making progress as he begins to understand relationships with his mother, his wife and mistress. At one point he challenges the therapist back as to why she has taken him on and able to look him in the eye, something which those outside the “family” are unable to do. There is counter transference.
Under the influence of his sister/sister in law the new boss, Uncle Junior informs Tony’s Jewish friend and horse ranch owner that he must pay back taxes as under an arrangement which commenced when Tony’s father was the boss, the man was exempt. He accepts the principal of making payment but not the amount. The other captains begin to have doubts about the decision to elect Uncle Junior into the position. Tony negotiates a reduction in the amount of back taxes and then persuades Junior to divide this among the captains return his share to his friend. He brings in an under boss from one of the five New York Families.
The Captains hold a dinner to mark the elevation of Junior, attended by guests from other Families. Tony still believes it was the right decision to put Junior in charge because of the belief that they are under threat from the law and that as an old single man Junior is expendable. His instincts are correct as the FBI have infiltrated the dinner with a camera and now have an up-to-date set of the leaders of the Family including that Junior is the new boss.
Junior is revelling in his position having tailored suits and other clothing and wearing scented after shave and deodorants. The tailor discloses that his fourteen years grandson has died after taking a designed drug and thinking her could fly. Junior shows his new found power by arranging for his men to throw the pusher over a bridge to see if he can fly too. They bribe some punks watching the event to say that the pusher took his own life. One the family captains is upset at the loss of the pusher who brought in the most profit,
Tony upsets his wife by taking time out to talk business with a colleague during their wedding anniversary meal. Later his wife admits that she has been jealous of the ability fo the therapist to help Tony, something which she feels she should do, She tells him to continue after talking it over with her Catholic priest.
I must also confess to enjoying the Boardwalk Empire series more than I should, particularly this week’s episode which deals with the close involvement of crime families and syndicates and political parties. Nucky goes to Chicago for the Republican convention as he has for years to determine which candidates he should direct the New Jersey vote in terms of his best interests. He is unhappy with both front runners, especially the candidate who promised the creation of a highway between Atlantic City and New York. On arrival he finds that he has not been allocated the Presidential suite as before but reminds the hotel of the extent of his generosity in order to get his way.
He is asked by the Vice President to attend a party for another candidate Warren Harding and visits the local cat house where he finds Jimmy in operation working for the Chicago crime boss. The crime boss introduces him to a Judge with a liking for a negro girl who is brought in especially for him and who speaks highly of those behind Harding who have successfully got five men to date in to the Oval Office. He discovers that Harding as a weakness for shop girls and waitresses and that he has a young mistress with a baby son in attendance as well as his stoical wife who declares that a fortune teller has warned that her husband will be killed in office. Nucky decides to give his support to Harding as much to spite the main runners but also getting a deal for his motor highway. Part of the deal is to bring the young mistress and baby back to Atlantic city for his mistress Margaret to look after thus reinforcing his connection with the man who is first elected party leader and then President.
While he is at the convention he puts his Sheriff brother in charge of business and he sits in the office with nothing to do because all he usual visitors seeking assistance or issues with Nucky are staying away until he returns. One fo the financial collectors forgets that Nucky is absent and asks for a day off because he needs to attend hospital with the son who has polio, Nucky’s brother agrees and undertakes the collection himself including that from the Casino on the day it is hit and he takes a bullet which brings Nucky rushing back although his brother is not in danger of losing his life.
While he is away Margaret is enjoying her new status as his number one woman and is called to help out her former employer when the woman the mistress she has replaced tries to buy clothes she can no longer afford. Margaret hits the woman across the face when she refuses to stop her insults. Nucky has asked Margaret to go to his office and secure the official accounts of his criminal dealings. She is called away when tempted to examine the ledger, but later cannot resist and seeing the sums involved appears to be immediately deciding that the information will secure and improve her position.
Jimmy’s wife is making a success of her painting and through the husband of the lesbian relationships has secured the visit of a New York dealer to see her work. She spurns suggestion from her mother to take a job. She thinks she has been abandoned by her husband who has stopped sending her money. In fact he has been doing so on a regular basis but his letters and funds have been intercepted by the FBI agent. His wife is depressed over he inability to conceive a child and at first her husband refuses to consider attempting to find the funds for the required operation, but then he uses money being sent by Jimmy to his wife.
Family Relationships is also the subject of the latest episode of Blue Bloods. The basic story of Brothers is a familiar much used one in this kind of programme. The older brother is the gangsters and he not only protects the young brother ensuring he gets a good education but funds a community project when other sources of funding come to an end. The younger son of the police chief resents the approach his brother takes, refusing a rubber slapper, inherited from grandfather and the way the brother is inclined to ridicule, At the Sunday roast dinner get together where Grandpas has used crispy duck for a change the situation blows up and father explains that his eldest son is concerned that he does not want his remaining brother after the eldest was killed. Attending a church service the two reach an understanding.
The Mayor tries to persuade the Police Chief to participate in photo opportunities as he feels threatened by the ambitious District Attorney who in turn also approaches the Police Chief for support in his campaign. The daughter lawyer working in the DA’s office wants to bring down the local gangster using his brother. The gangster tells his brother he is proud of him and he must not put his situation and the project in jeopardy and if necessary testify to the Grand Jury against him. The gangster is then killed by other members of the gang and the brother agrees to assist is a ploy which leads to the gang members being captured as they attempt to assassinate the younger brother. The police chief then persuades the ambitious D A to earn public brownie points by raising the funds to keep the community project going.
I have been enjoying prepared salads from Asda instead of the selections made at Morrison’s because of a reduction first of two for £3 instead of £4 and then at half price at £1 do a salad with prawns and chicken. Yesterday for main course I enjoyed a piece of breaded fish and breaded scampi with seasoned tinned tomatoes and a few garden peas and today I enjoyed four small pieces of breaded chicken with new potatoes, whole baby carrots and the reminder of yesterday’s garden peas.
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