Most adults understand that when they appraise any situation they are doing so through the filter of their experience, often more influenced than it should by their childhood and first relationships with people outside their immediate families, and especially their early years at school. Less accepted is that we are influenced by our ancestors through the evolution of family histories mingling with every very new relationship which leads to a birth, and even less accepted is that ancestral memory is also transferred along with other propensities and predilections. The latter being my own belief where the only proof is that people have been taken back to where they have memory of times prior to their conception, sometimes going back centuries and millennium.
For a great chunk of my life I hated going over and over experience, because I usually found that I could and should have acted better, and sometimes, differently. This applied to my personal and private life whereas in my work, I quickly learnt to listen to the voice of knowledge and experience and to resist the temptation to change something because I would not be liked or come under pressure about my position. This does not mean that I did not bend or compromise, but if I did it was because I decided that it was the best thing to in the circumstances in relation to my particular as well duties and responsibilities to others. Those same individuals will have looked upon my actions and decisions differently and will continue to do so. It is increasingly difficult to evaluate past actions because I cannot remember all the reasons why I did or did not, let alone know the know and understand the factors outside my direct knowledge and influence.
One of the ways to become comfortable with the personal past is to layer new experience over the old but this only works once one has come to terms with the past otherwise whatever it is which upset, disturb, challenges will continue to affect, and undermine and becomes more difficult to undo or deal with because of the increasing density of layers and complex interactions
Throughout the past five years I have spent most of what I do remembering or relating new experience to the past although I ration going over painful or difficult stuff just as I try and avoid new potentially negative or painful experience. At the same time I continue to ask what did you achieve to day, what have you contributed to others and to the general good? I am less proactive than before when I would also ask what have to done to stop those harming and wrecking the lives of others individually and collectively.
Yesterday there were few major boxes which could be ticked although there were a lot of little ones, having woken after a good sleep at a reasonable hour and achieved at least eight hours of good work. I took a 1000 photographs of completed cards but I need to make copies of those to disk as well as those on the desktop since the great crash. When some of those previously taken were lost. One of these weeks, for it will take a week or more I must do an inventory matching the photos on disk to the number of completed sets. I know for example that sometime ago I lost the photos of development sets 100 to 200. It is the kind of work someone else could do, except where the photograph is to be sued directly in he project rather than being proof of work done, in the event of its loss in someway. For a copy, albeit a photographic copy of a card to be available it must be scanned, and I do not have the time to do this or the funds to get someone else. The ideal is not just to scan each card but put them online unless they are already in which instance I need only to show the reference or link.
Having transferred the first 75 of 645 completed MySpace Blogs to Google, I have paused while I create something of a multi relational database using their system with one overall Blog and separate Blogs for Films and with films for Bergman, Fellini Almodovar and for Theatre live music and show also creating a separate Blog for the Newcastle Playhouse. Then there are 101 posts and Daily Chronicle mixes. This is a time taking process which is not justified given other priorities, because to be comprehensive I will need to split some Blogs for references to films TV and such like.
It is a useful activity for now because it contributes to the development of the internet site I would like to create.
I watched Aces High which I have experienced once or twice before, and which gained from being viewed as part of the trio of films about young flyers facing combat after only a few hours of solo flight, thanks to two series of Daily Mail British Films about the War and Wartime.
Instead of going for a walk I gave the bedroom a good clean and then vacuumed downstairs and the stairs to the first floor as well as good dust to the front room and a sort and tidy here in the working room Kitchen floor needs a scrub but will leave till Monday.
Watched parts of the lunch time (Chelsea) and late afternoon (Man U ) football on Sky and Santana and listened on radio to Sunderland at Arsenal where they got a valuable draw.
Listened to Elkie Brooks Pearl Record, the first, I have both, and the to Keane. As evening turned in night I listened to Pablo Cassals Playing Beethoven Cello Sonata‘s and the Moonlight Piano, which was a favourite of my birth mother.
For a great chunk of my life I hated going over and over experience, because I usually found that I could and should have acted better, and sometimes, differently. This applied to my personal and private life whereas in my work, I quickly learnt to listen to the voice of knowledge and experience and to resist the temptation to change something because I would not be liked or come under pressure about my position. This does not mean that I did not bend or compromise, but if I did it was because I decided that it was the best thing to in the circumstances in relation to my particular as well duties and responsibilities to others. Those same individuals will have looked upon my actions and decisions differently and will continue to do so. It is increasingly difficult to evaluate past actions because I cannot remember all the reasons why I did or did not, let alone know the know and understand the factors outside my direct knowledge and influence.
One of the ways to become comfortable with the personal past is to layer new experience over the old but this only works once one has come to terms with the past otherwise whatever it is which upset, disturb, challenges will continue to affect, and undermine and becomes more difficult to undo or deal with because of the increasing density of layers and complex interactions
Throughout the past five years I have spent most of what I do remembering or relating new experience to the past although I ration going over painful or difficult stuff just as I try and avoid new potentially negative or painful experience. At the same time I continue to ask what did you achieve to day, what have you contributed to others and to the general good? I am less proactive than before when I would also ask what have to done to stop those harming and wrecking the lives of others individually and collectively.
Yesterday there were few major boxes which could be ticked although there were a lot of little ones, having woken after a good sleep at a reasonable hour and achieved at least eight hours of good work. I took a 1000 photographs of completed cards but I need to make copies of those to disk as well as those on the desktop since the great crash. When some of those previously taken were lost. One of these weeks, for it will take a week or more I must do an inventory matching the photos on disk to the number of completed sets. I know for example that sometime ago I lost the photos of development sets 100 to 200. It is the kind of work someone else could do, except where the photograph is to be sued directly in he project rather than being proof of work done, in the event of its loss in someway. For a copy, albeit a photographic copy of a card to be available it must be scanned, and I do not have the time to do this or the funds to get someone else. The ideal is not just to scan each card but put them online unless they are already in which instance I need only to show the reference or link.
Having transferred the first 75 of 645 completed MySpace Blogs to Google, I have paused while I create something of a multi relational database using their system with one overall Blog and separate Blogs for Films and with films for Bergman, Fellini Almodovar and for Theatre live music and show also creating a separate Blog for the Newcastle Playhouse. Then there are 101 posts and Daily Chronicle mixes. This is a time taking process which is not justified given other priorities, because to be comprehensive I will need to split some Blogs for references to films TV and such like.
It is a useful activity for now because it contributes to the development of the internet site I would like to create.
I watched Aces High which I have experienced once or twice before, and which gained from being viewed as part of the trio of films about young flyers facing combat after only a few hours of solo flight, thanks to two series of Daily Mail British Films about the War and Wartime.
Instead of going for a walk I gave the bedroom a good clean and then vacuumed downstairs and the stairs to the first floor as well as good dust to the front room and a sort and tidy here in the working room Kitchen floor needs a scrub but will leave till Monday.
Watched parts of the lunch time (Chelsea) and late afternoon (Man U ) football on Sky and Santana and listened on radio to Sunderland at Arsenal where they got a valuable draw.
Listened to Elkie Brooks Pearl Record, the first, I have both, and the to Keane. As evening turned in night I listened to Pablo Cassals Playing Beethoven Cello Sonata‘s and the Moonlight Piano, which was a favourite of my birth mother.
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