One of my earliest memories is my mother saying the rosary with her sisters during air raids. Because the V1 flying bomb was launched in daylight I remember seeing one over head, its engine cutting out later as we disappeared into the shelter. Today both memories became underlined for very different reasons. This afternoon I watched the first part of Operation Crossbow which covered the trials of the V1 through to the launching of the V2 and the work on the V3 with the power to reach New York from Europe.
v
In the early part of the afternoon I said the Hail Mary for my mother with a priest as he performed the anointing and absolution of her sins. She gave him what I can only describe as a radiant smile of recognition. It is usually difficult for me to say words, aspects of which I cannot accept, as being true or appropriate. There was no such difficulty
The previous day my mother nearly ran out of clean nightdresses as with the move from a four bedded ward to a single room and the decision to place her on the "pathway" I had forgotten to check the position so there were four to immediately wash and dry. For a moment there was a little sickening feeling when the dryer refused to work although the on button was lit, so I opened and then shut the door more firmly and it did its required job. I was not inclined to iron until this morning and after the work was completed I decided to travel immediately to Sunderland after preparing lunch.
In the rush I forgot to dry the prawns and the lettuce and realised too late that the rolls would be soggy and inedible by the lunch time. I dried everything, the prawns, the lettuce and the rolls, putting the lettuce and prawns in a container. and the dusted mild olive oil spread rolls in a tin with a good lid, for later, after they had dried on kitchen tissue. One I had earlier this evening with soup and a second in a moment with two slices of cheese and a cup of coffee while watching the second part of the film which was on TCM2 after returning from my evening visit, Fortunately I had bought 3 packs of 4 rolls for £1 so made up two more for the lunch which I took separately adding a banana and small bottle of cold water. There was only time to eat some fresh pineapple for breakfast although later from M and S I bought a cinnamon whirl which was devoured in the car park as tenses. The purpose of the visit to Marks and Spencer's was to purchase pretty night dressers, three to add to those which were now ready and avoid any further crisis during what was expected to be no more than days. A matron of mature years appeared curious that I was examining the female nightwear so I smiled and held one against my frame. "Ooh you are wicked."
I usually wear black shirts, not to identify me as a Goth or a member of the Toon army but to hide the full impact of a 16 stone rounded tum. However in the circumstances these were no longer appropriate and on checking the wardrobe the only suitable shirts were short sleeved. I selected a pale blue for £10 and then saw a packet of three for £15 which should see me over the next few days given that I am washing, drying and ironing every two or three. The Sunderland Branch of British Home Stores was closed and follows the Sunderland closure of Woolworths and Littlewoods although other stores have taken the place of the latter two. It is odd because Woolworths survives at South Shields and in Jarrow, and only within the past two years has a BHS branch opened in South Shields.
When I rush I create a good sweat, and usually carry a spare shirt and towel. Fortunately I had parked the car on an upper floor with a few vehicles before stripping to the waist, drying and deciding on the pale blue after consuming the pastry. There has been a significant price differential between this car park next to the cinema complex and with the Casino in one corner and the other multi-storey car parks closer to the shopping centre although there distance is small. To day I found an increase from 60 pence to 80p an hour although you get three free hours if you sue the cinema and twenty four is using one of the remaining restaurants built as part of the development. Two have already been closed. This makes even more odd the speculative opening of the theatre restaurant in a block of older buildings all available renting and looking the worse for outside wear in the road leading from the shopping centre to the cinema casino car park complex. The new development has a small entrance with only a normal shop front although this has been replaced by contemporary glass depicting a theatre scene and there are two large lighted chandeliers visible. The advertisements offer a meal with songs from the shows for £35 per head, (I think remember from an add), and reminds me of the all in entertainments and meals offered on the Spanish Costa's, although this seems to be on a much smaller scale. In contrast to style someone has pasted large lettering to say that bookings for this Friday and Saturday are now available. The venture is bold and unlike Sunderland and I will make the effort to check any reviews and wish it well. There has been a large vacant space next to car park which is now being developed with a two storey structure emerging so far. I believe there will be a master plan for this area with the new penthouse tower block on the Bridge riverside with a unoccupied office/shops/whatever included on the road level floor, the riverside development student and private accommodation and the Old Town improvements further east towards the docks and the commercial older buildings, former town houses I assume, lots of lawyers, and some cobbles to the south. I also make a further note that the town's stage school also looks closed. There will be time to find these things out if I remain interested, later
I arrived at the hospital before eleven. This evening over a meal of the soup, a ready made pasta bake and the rest of the fresh pineapple there we as time to watch some of a recording of England 20/20 world cricket competition. There seems to have been just about time for the team to have said goodbye to their families before catching the plane to where (South Africa?) after that excellent win at Lords to take the one day series against India 4.3. Petersen, Flintoff were both playing again and despite a brilliant start by the opponents who yesterday shocked the cricket world by beating Australia Yesterday evening Scotland beat France 1.0 in Paris, a brilliant goal and world class goal keeping from Sunderland's £9 million summer signing. I also enjoyed England's 3.0 win at Wembley over Russia but the news is grim for farmers with a second outbreak of Foot and Mouth near Ingham in Surrey and I listed to an ex warrior talk of what happened to him after being wounded and returning home. He gets flashbacks. These I know can be more frightening that the real experience. I had one once immediately after I returned home from six months in prison to a welcome from my mother and her sisters as if I had been away on some work trip or holiday. We never spoke of where I had been or why and I talked myself out of what appeared to be happening to myself psychologically and emotionally. I never had a flashback again. One was enough, bit like going to prison. I wonder if all recruits who will see active service are psychologically screened these days. Not to do so is negligence of the highest order, criminally negligent I would add. However I suspect it is impossible to make 100% predictions of how individuals will behave when put to the test. You have to recruit killers who will stop killing when you decide and expect them to live with what they have done and seen afterwards.
" Dear Mary Magdalene, I hope you are continuing to enjoy heaven and sorry for not having been in touch much recently. I would send texts but my stumpy fingers are hopeless with small keys and I have to correct and correct the typing and word forms.
I am writing to ask that you help Mabel who is starting on her pathway. Although she is well prepared for the trip my instinct tells me the going will get rough and while her mental determination and stamina remains as tough as ever, the body is getting weaker, nature's way I guess. As you know Mabel was hit with a double whammy because the illness not only churned up her concepts of time and place but increasingly during this year, since her one hundred birthday, has mixed up and stopped some of the signals from the brain to the body so she might get even more confused and lose her way a bit. Having said that if anyone can find where you all are hanging out these days, it is she.
My favour is that you locate the present whereabouts of all her sisters and brothers, as well as her parents and grandparents and other relatives and let them know she is on her way. You will remember she drove everyone crazy by reciting their names over and over again when she first went into care in January 2003 and while I am able to go through something of their lives with her it is difficult to know how much she is able now hear and her focussing has become very limited.
PS I was glad to hear last time how well Judas is doing given his subsequent bad PR, something you will know only too well about. Bye for now. Joseph."
v
In the early part of the afternoon I said the Hail Mary for my mother with a priest as he performed the anointing and absolution of her sins. She gave him what I can only describe as a radiant smile of recognition. It is usually difficult for me to say words, aspects of which I cannot accept, as being true or appropriate. There was no such difficulty
The previous day my mother nearly ran out of clean nightdresses as with the move from a four bedded ward to a single room and the decision to place her on the "pathway" I had forgotten to check the position so there were four to immediately wash and dry. For a moment there was a little sickening feeling when the dryer refused to work although the on button was lit, so I opened and then shut the door more firmly and it did its required job. I was not inclined to iron until this morning and after the work was completed I decided to travel immediately to Sunderland after preparing lunch.
In the rush I forgot to dry the prawns and the lettuce and realised too late that the rolls would be soggy and inedible by the lunch time. I dried everything, the prawns, the lettuce and the rolls, putting the lettuce and prawns in a container. and the dusted mild olive oil spread rolls in a tin with a good lid, for later, after they had dried on kitchen tissue. One I had earlier this evening with soup and a second in a moment with two slices of cheese and a cup of coffee while watching the second part of the film which was on TCM2 after returning from my evening visit, Fortunately I had bought 3 packs of 4 rolls for £1 so made up two more for the lunch which I took separately adding a banana and small bottle of cold water. There was only time to eat some fresh pineapple for breakfast although later from M and S I bought a cinnamon whirl which was devoured in the car park as tenses. The purpose of the visit to Marks and Spencer's was to purchase pretty night dressers, three to add to those which were now ready and avoid any further crisis during what was expected to be no more than days. A matron of mature years appeared curious that I was examining the female nightwear so I smiled and held one against my frame. "Ooh you are wicked."
I usually wear black shirts, not to identify me as a Goth or a member of the Toon army but to hide the full impact of a 16 stone rounded tum. However in the circumstances these were no longer appropriate and on checking the wardrobe the only suitable shirts were short sleeved. I selected a pale blue for £10 and then saw a packet of three for £15 which should see me over the next few days given that I am washing, drying and ironing every two or three. The Sunderland Branch of British Home Stores was closed and follows the Sunderland closure of Woolworths and Littlewoods although other stores have taken the place of the latter two. It is odd because Woolworths survives at South Shields and in Jarrow, and only within the past two years has a BHS branch opened in South Shields.
When I rush I create a good sweat, and usually carry a spare shirt and towel. Fortunately I had parked the car on an upper floor with a few vehicles before stripping to the waist, drying and deciding on the pale blue after consuming the pastry. There has been a significant price differential between this car park next to the cinema complex and with the Casino in one corner and the other multi-storey car parks closer to the shopping centre although there distance is small. To day I found an increase from 60 pence to 80p an hour although you get three free hours if you sue the cinema and twenty four is using one of the remaining restaurants built as part of the development. Two have already been closed. This makes even more odd the speculative opening of the theatre restaurant in a block of older buildings all available renting and looking the worse for outside wear in the road leading from the shopping centre to the cinema casino car park complex. The new development has a small entrance with only a normal shop front although this has been replaced by contemporary glass depicting a theatre scene and there are two large lighted chandeliers visible. The advertisements offer a meal with songs from the shows for £35 per head, (I think remember from an add), and reminds me of the all in entertainments and meals offered on the Spanish Costa's, although this seems to be on a much smaller scale. In contrast to style someone has pasted large lettering to say that bookings for this Friday and Saturday are now available. The venture is bold and unlike Sunderland and I will make the effort to check any reviews and wish it well. There has been a large vacant space next to car park which is now being developed with a two storey structure emerging so far. I believe there will be a master plan for this area with the new penthouse tower block on the Bridge riverside with a unoccupied office/shops/whatever included on the road level floor, the riverside development student and private accommodation and the Old Town improvements further east towards the docks and the commercial older buildings, former town houses I assume, lots of lawyers, and some cobbles to the south. I also make a further note that the town's stage school also looks closed. There will be time to find these things out if I remain interested, later
I arrived at the hospital before eleven. This evening over a meal of the soup, a ready made pasta bake and the rest of the fresh pineapple there we as time to watch some of a recording of England 20/20 world cricket competition. There seems to have been just about time for the team to have said goodbye to their families before catching the plane to where (South Africa?) after that excellent win at Lords to take the one day series against India 4.3. Petersen, Flintoff were both playing again and despite a brilliant start by the opponents who yesterday shocked the cricket world by beating Australia Yesterday evening Scotland beat France 1.0 in Paris, a brilliant goal and world class goal keeping from Sunderland's £9 million summer signing. I also enjoyed England's 3.0 win at Wembley over Russia but the news is grim for farmers with a second outbreak of Foot and Mouth near Ingham in Surrey and I listed to an ex warrior talk of what happened to him after being wounded and returning home. He gets flashbacks. These I know can be more frightening that the real experience. I had one once immediately after I returned home from six months in prison to a welcome from my mother and her sisters as if I had been away on some work trip or holiday. We never spoke of where I had been or why and I talked myself out of what appeared to be happening to myself psychologically and emotionally. I never had a flashback again. One was enough, bit like going to prison. I wonder if all recruits who will see active service are psychologically screened these days. Not to do so is negligence of the highest order, criminally negligent I would add. However I suspect it is impossible to make 100% predictions of how individuals will behave when put to the test. You have to recruit killers who will stop killing when you decide and expect them to live with what they have done and seen afterwards.
" Dear Mary Magdalene, I hope you are continuing to enjoy heaven and sorry for not having been in touch much recently. I would send texts but my stumpy fingers are hopeless with small keys and I have to correct and correct the typing and word forms.
I am writing to ask that you help Mabel who is starting on her pathway. Although she is well prepared for the trip my instinct tells me the going will get rough and while her mental determination and stamina remains as tough as ever, the body is getting weaker, nature's way I guess. As you know Mabel was hit with a double whammy because the illness not only churned up her concepts of time and place but increasingly during this year, since her one hundred birthday, has mixed up and stopped some of the signals from the brain to the body so she might get even more confused and lose her way a bit. Having said that if anyone can find where you all are hanging out these days, it is she.
My favour is that you locate the present whereabouts of all her sisters and brothers, as well as her parents and grandparents and other relatives and let them know she is on her way. You will remember she drove everyone crazy by reciting their names over and over again when she first went into care in January 2003 and while I am able to go through something of their lives with her it is difficult to know how much she is able now hear and her focussing has become very limited.
PS I was glad to hear last time how well Judas is doing given his subsequent bad PR, something you will know only too well about. Bye for now. Joseph."
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